Return-Path: Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: (qmail 32357 invoked from network); 7 Aug 2004 23:50:00 -0000 Received: from m1.dnsix.com (63.251.171.163) by barracuda.fishinternet.com.au with SMTP; 7 Aug 2004 23:50:00 -0000 Received: from [203.147.241.112] (helo=bne001se.server-mail.com) by m1.dnsix.com with smtp (Exim 4.24) id 1Btawp-0003TI-7Y for info@mensprayer.com; Sat, 07 Aug 2004 16:49:59 -0700 Received: (qmail 29860 invoked from network); 7 Aug 2004 23:49:55 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO wic004u.hosting.server-login.com) (203.147.129.11) by bne001se.server-mail.com with SMTP; 7 Aug 2004 23:49:55 -0000 Subject: Fathers-No trade for marriage Sender: "Fatherhood Foundation" From: "Fatherhood Foundation" Date: Sun, 8 Aug 2004 09:49:55 +1000 To: "info@mensprayer.com" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Mailer: JMail 4.3.0 by Dimac Message-ID: <003301c1cfc4$27ced2d0$0800a8c0@bosweb.com.au> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="--NEXT_BM_610ED1B679144BC6ABEDC93641DE968A" This is a multipart message in MIME format. ----NEXT_BM_610ED1B679144BC6ABEDC93641DE968A Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable Newsletter Issue No=2E 102-9th August, 2004 In this issue: - Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg - Fathers & Kids - Grandads - Laughter - Fathers Job Description - Marriage Feature - Thought for the Week - News & Info - Dad's Prayer - Mission Statement & Help Us! Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg ---------------------- Dear Danna, =A0 =A0 =A0 This week has been an amazing victory for common sense and positive family v= alues=2E=A0 We have been told by both the Prime Minister and Opposition Shad= ow Attorney General that they will protect marriage as being between a man a= nd a woman voluntarily entered into for life=2E=A0 =A0 The National Marriage Forum on Wednesday 4th August was held in the Great Ha= ll of Parliament House=2E=A0 Most of the major papers across Australia repor= ted on it and I was interviewed on WIN TV and ABC Radio=2E=A0 The Fatherhood= Foundation=92s name was mentioned as co-organiser along with the Australian= Christian Lobby and the Australian Family Foundation=2E=A0 We released the = =91Twenty-One Reasons Why Marriage Matters=92 document and so far the respon= se has been fantastic=2E=A0 Your own copy can be downloaded at www=2Emarriag= e=2Eorg=2Eau and copies are available in bulk (over 5) at $2 each and can be= ordered by contacting the Fatherhood Foundation direct=2E =A0 Why are we so passionate to champion the cause of marriage in Australia=3F=A0= The point of the matter was brought home to me by a phone call on Saturday = morning at 10 am by a heart broken divorced father named Alex=2E=A0 He has t= hree young children and he can only see them every second weekend=2E=A0 Alex= has kindly allowed me to tell his story=2E=A0 Unfortunately it is a story I= hear far too often=2E=A0 Alex has a daughter 9 years and two sons aged 6 an= d 3 years=2E=A0 When his daughter was born it was a wake up call=2E=A0 He wa= s working in what he perceived was a dead end job=2E=A0 Alex had a new daugh= ter and realised he had to get a better job so he became an apprentice carpe= nter, working hard for little pay=2E=A0 He was named apprentice of the year = at the end of his training and then established his own contracting business= and worked long hours for his growing family=2E=A0 However communication wi= th his family was failing=2E=A0 Every morning he would give his children and= wife a kiss but his wife wouldn=92t talk to him when he wanted to talk and = he wouldn=92t talk when she wanted to=2E=A0 They began to drift apart=2E=A0 = Arguments became more common until one Fathers Day, his wife said to him, =91= I=92m going over to my friend=92s place and I=92m not coming home 'till you = go',=A0 That was three years ago and to this day he is a broken hearted man = who desperately wants to be with his children but is often prevented from fa= ir contact=2E=A0 He fought the divorce in the Family Law Courts and appealed= for reconciliation but with the current no-fault divorce laws that was not = even a consideration=2E=A0 Alex told me the story of buying a birthday cake = for his ex wife and getting his children to write something in the card for = his now divorced wife=2E=A0 After he had dropped them off he found a note in= the back seat of the car written by one of his children, which read, =91Dea= r Lord Jesus, Can we become a family again=3F=92 =A0 In a moment like that I can only begin to cry=2E=A0 I know so well how this = man=92s children felt because my family background was tumultuous to say the= least=2E=A0 Who pays when the marriage breaks down=3F=A0 The adults suffer = from broken hearts, but for the children the whole thing is often too much t= o bear=2E=A0 Our children suffer the most=2E What are the results of successful marriage=3F=A0 According to our newly rel= eased =91Twenty-One Reasons Why Marriage Matters=92 booklet, reason number o= ne says =91Successful =2E =2E =2E marriages increase the likelihood that fat= hers have a good relationship with their children=92=2E=A0 The number one re= sult of marriage breakdown is fatherlessness and even with a fair family law= court, the results would still be similar=2E=A0 Along with fatherlessness c= omes increased risk of suicide, child abuse, bad mental health, depression p= overty, drug abuse, unnatural sexual addictions, crime, incarceration, pover= ty and lower educational attainment=2E=A0 Do we want to leave this legacy to= our children=3F=A0 if the answer is not, let us continue to fight to protec= t marriage and in fact, let us do what my Muslim friend Amir Butler says, =91= What is needed now is a reinvigoration and revival of marriage as the only i= nstitution that can reverse the decay of the nuclear family and reverse the = negative social trends that are associated with it=92=2E =A0 Lovework =A0 Love your wife =A0 Yours for more love Warwick Marsh =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 Warwick Marsh=A0=A0has been married=A0to Alison for=A028 years=2E He is the = father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 23 year= s to=A011 years=2E=A0 Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public= speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself=2E Fathers & Kids ---------------------- =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 Ten Questions Every Husband Should Ask His Wife Annually by Tom Elliff Every year, Tom and Jeannie Elliff get away for a private retreat=2E Once, w= hile sharing a meal in an intimate restaurant, Tom asked Jeannie the followi= ng questions =97 he wanted to listen to his wife's words and hear from her h= eart=2E These ten questions have become an annual exercise as Tom seeks to f= ollow the apostle Peter's exhortation: You husbands likewise, live with your= wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woma= n, and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your p= rayers will not be hindered=2E -- 1 Peter 3:7 (NASB) What could I do to make= you feel more loved=3F What could I do to make you feel more respected=3F W= hat could I do to make you feel more understood=3F What could I do to make y= ou more secure=3F What can I do to make you feel more confident in our futur= e direction=3F What attribute would you like me to develop=3F What attribute= would you like me to help you develop=3F What achievement in my life would = bring you greatest joy=3F What would indicate to you that I really desire to= be more Christ like=3F What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish= =3F =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F Tom Elliff is the pastor of First Southern Baptist Church in Del City, Oklah= oma=2E=A0 www=2Efamilylife=2Ecom Grandads ---------------------- =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts fee= l so good=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 A husband is someone who takes out the rubbish and then = gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 A mother can touch a whole generation just by loving her= own child well=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Age is a very high price to pay for maturity=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 All true wisdom is found on T-shirts=2E=2E=2E=2ESomewher= e o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Animal testing is a bad idea - they get nervous and give= the wrong answers=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Bills travel faster through the mail than cheques=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longe= r you live=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Countless numbers of people have eaten in my kitchen and= gone on to lead normal lives=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Courage is fear that has said its prayers=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Do not just believe in miracles=2E=2E=2Erely on them=2E = o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Do you know the best way to heal dry, chapped lips=3F St= op moving them=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Don't argue with an idiot=2E People watching may not be = able to tell the difference=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Employment applications always ask who is to be notified= in case of an emergency=2E I think you should write '000' o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Everyone seems normal until you get to know them=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Experience is the thing you have left when everything el= se is gone=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Football: A game when lots of strong players run around = like crazy for two hours while millions of people who really need the exerci= se sit and watch=2E o=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they s= hall never cease to be amused Laughter ---------------------- =A0 =A0 =A0The Top 10 Things Your Child Will Surely Say Next Time You Have Company =A010=2E 'Daddy, how long are they staying=3F' 9=2E 'Anybody want to play Twister=3F' 8=2E 'I better warn you people=2E My dad only paid me for an hour of good be= havior=2E' 7=2E 'Dad, can I turn off the Barry Manilow tape now=3F' 6=2E 'Hey, didn't he used to be thinner=3F' 5=2E 'Daaaddddddyyyyyy! I pooooooopppiiiieeed!'4=2E 'Can I come out of the c= loset now=3F' 3=2E 'You know, don't you, that irradiative excitation will probably initiat= e a causal plethysmographic modulation whose photocoagulated full-wave spect= rum will delineate the hematoporphyrin derivative and prognosticate a supram= olecular demise=2E' 2=2E 'That isn't what you said about (insert boss's name) last night=2E' 1=2E 'My dad wears Garfield underwear=2E' Fathers Job Description ---------------------- =A0 =A0 Your Fathering Job Description by Ken Cranfield Remember when you held your first baby in your arms and =97 probably not out= loud =97 asked yourself, =93Now what do I do=3F=94 you didn=92t get an answ= er, did you=3F Well, dad, I=92m glad you=92re seeking new insights and information to be th= e best dad you can be=2E At work, a job description helps keep you on task for your company=2E But wh= at about a =93job description for dads=94=3F It=92s important for dads of al= l ages=97to think through issues, plan our strategy, and begin to put it int= o place=2E Your job description for fatherhood probably should begin with expectations=2E= You may sense certain expectations from our culture, from co-workers, from = your parents or your in-laws=2E But a good place to start is with the expect= ations carried by you and your wife=2E First, it=92s vital that you recognize and understand your father=92s impact= on your life, because that=92s where you first received messages about what= a father does=2E None of our fathers were perfect, so it=92s important for = us to understand their shortcomings as well as carry forward their strengths= =2E Then, talk intentionally with your wife=2E She is an essential parenting par= tner, and like you, her expectations for you will be influenced by her fathe= r=2E If her dad was absent or abusive, she may find it difficult to trust yo= u with the children=2E If her father was present but emotionally disconnecte= d, she may not appreciate the unique assets you bring to the parenting team=2E= If she had a close, loving relationship with him, she may have high expecta= tions and you may feel pressure to live up to an unrealistic ideal=2E Discuss all of those issues=2E Help her understand your ideas about fatherin= g, and listen closely to her perspective=2E Ask her what she expects of you = as a father=2E Get specific=2E Talk about daily caretaking duties, the amoun= t of time spent with the kids, discipline, navigating work and family issues= , moral and spiritual training, the priority of your marriage, and other val= ues related to childrearing=2E Once you=92ve defined what is realistic to expect from yourself as a dad, I = suggest verbalizing your commitment to that role=2E Define =93father=94 as a= verb, not a noun=2E Resolve to live out your commitment to your children da= y by day=2E =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F The National Center for Fathering was founded in 1990 by Dr=2E Ken Canfield = to conduct research on fathering and to develop practical resources for dads= in nearly every fathering situation=2E www=2Efathers=2Ecom Marriage Feature ---------------------- Australian Muslim Public Affairs Committee Phone: +61-(0)412-044429 Fax: +61-(0)3-9300-1335 E-mail: abutler@muslimaffairs=2Ecom=2Eau PO Box 180 Pascoe Vale South 3044 AUSTRALIA =A0 STATEMENT TO THE NATIONAL MARRIAGE FORUM =A0 On behalf of the Australian Muslim community, I would like to commend and th= ank the organizers and participants of this forum for rising to the defense = of an institution that transcends race, religion,politics and class=2E Indeed, if there is any social institution in this country that must be defe= nded then it is marriage=2E Throughout history and across cultures, the union of man and woman has been = celebrated, protected and seen as crucial to the wellbeing of the civilizati= on=2E As Muslims, we are taught that marriage is half of our faith and that = no-one can perfect the practice of their religion until they have married=2E= Marriage is important because families are important=2E Families are importa= nt because they are the most basic building block of our society=2E When the= family collapses, so does the society=2E Regardless of ones religious or political persuasion, all accept that the id= eal environment to raise children is a happy, functional family consisting o= f a mother and a father=2E Regardless of whether one is a Muslim, Christian,= agnostic or atheist, the family unit is recognized as being absolutely crit= ical to a successful society=2E The evidence proves what common-sense informs: marriage cannot be redefined = without being weakened=2E The experience abroad demonstrates that when marri= age is extended to accommodate homosexual unions, it cheapens and weakens th= e value of marriage in the society=2E Marriage becomes a temporal partnershi= p unfettered by the same responsibility or meaningful commitment=2E Our soci= ety is already facing an array of problems due to the weakening of marriage = and the decay of the nuclear family=2E What is needed is not a radical transformation of an institution that has he= ld societies together for time immemorial; rather what is needed now is a re= invigoration and revival of marriage as the only institution that can revers= e the decay of the nuclear family and reverse the negative social trends tha= t are associated with it=2E For this reason, the Australian Muslim community believes that the protectio= n of marriage is imperative=2E We praise the efforts of our government to enshrine in law what is enshrined= in common-sense and human experience over the ages: that if the family is t= he building-block of society, then the marriage of man and wife is its morta= r=2E We must not sacrifice our most critical social institution on the altar of p= olitical correctness=2E To trade away the traditional and universally accept= ed definition of marriage, is to trade away the family; and to trade away th= e family, is to trade away our children; and to trade away our children, is = to trade away this nation and its future=2E =A0 =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Letter by Amir Butler 3rd August, 2004=2E - Australian Muslim Affairs Commit= tee Thought for the Week ---------------------- Marriage is a lifelong union between a man and a woman to the exclusion of a= ll others=2E =A0 Prime Minister John Howard National Marriage Forum 4th August 2004 News & Info ---------------------- =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0Top detective killed himselfTHE Sydney detective who broug= ht serial killer Ivan Milat to justice shot himself dead at the New South Wa= les police headquarters this weekDetective Sergeant Steve Leach, described b= y colleagues as one of the service's finest, walked into the weapons storero= om of the building, selected a gun and shot himself in the head=2E Another c= ase of a father leaving his family behind=2E The message is clear - The stresses of life can kill you=2E For men , we must find ways of communicating our issues, before it is too la= te=2Ehttp://www=2Enews=2Ecom=2Eau/common/story=5Fpage/0,4057,10330896%255E42= 1,00=2Ehtml (http://www=2Enews=2Ecom=2Eau/common/story=5Fpage/0,4057,1033089= 6%255E421,00=2Ehtml) =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 =A0 =A0 The Marriage Forum, held in Parliament House was a success beyond our wildes= t imaginations=2E Nicola Roxin presented Labors position extremely well and = the Prime Ministers described Marriage as 'the bedrock institution' ,read th= e Prime Ministers address=2E It is clear that marriage is such a strong foundation for family=2E http://www=2Epm=2Egov=2Eau/news/speeches/speech1051=2Ehtml =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F A number of articles appeared this week with the success of the Marriage For= um=2E Take the links below=2E =A0 http://www=2Ecouriermail=2Enews=2Ecom=2Eau/common/story=5Fpage/0,5936,103454= 49%255E953,00=2Ehtml =A0 http://heraldsun=2Enews=2Ecom=2Eau/common/story=5Fpage/0,5478,10346529%255E6= 62,00=2Ehtml http://home=2Eiprimus=2Ecom=2Eau/ltuffin/croomebigots=2Ehtml =A0 =A0=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Keep checking marriage =2Eorg =2Eau for further updates from the forum www=2Emarriage=2Eorg=2Eau =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 Men=92s Prayer Summit will be held 11-13 August Parliament House=2E=A0 For m= ore information phone John Comino 02 9913 3468=2E Email: johncomino@optusnet= =2Ecom=2Eau (mailto:johncomino@optusnet=2Ecom=2Eau)=A0 The theme of this yea= r=92s summit is =91Restoring Paths to Dwell In=92=2E Speakers include Brian Pickering, Jim Wallace, Ps Danny Nalliah and two Abor= iginal elders Peter Morgan and Peter Compton=2E=A0 We are having a special t= hanksgiving breakfast for politicians with a report by Brian Pickering=2E =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=A0 Late Breaking News =A0 A man named Warwick Marsh was caught unawares at a gathering of family and f= riends=A0Saturday night, to celebrate Warwicks' half century on the cricket = field of life=2E Members and associates of the Fatherhood Foundation convey there best wishes= and God's blessings to this man and his wonderful wife who are so committed= to=A0marriage and family in Australia=2E Our on the spot reporter was able to get a quote from the dazed and surprise= d Warwick=2E=2E=2E 'incredible, people have come from everywhere'=A0 Dad's Prayer ---------------------- =A0 Thank you Father for preserving marriage=2E Please help me to preserve my own=2E Mission Statement & Help Us! ---------------------- Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated associati= on with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, b= y encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families=2E= Click here for more information about us (http://www=2Eausheart=2Ecom=2Eau/f= athers/about/index=2Ehtml) Help Us!The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving=2E= =A0 That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation=2E=A0 Lif= e is also about relationships=2E=A0 That's what being a good father is all a= bout, developing relationships with your loved ones=2E=A0If you would like t= o give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,please mail your cheque or m= oney order to:Fatherhood FoundationPO Box 440WOLLONGONG=A0 NSW=A0 2520AUSTRA= LIA You have received the fathersonline=2Eorg newsletter because you have subscr= ibed, or you have been subscribed by a friend=2E=A0 If you do not wish to re= ceive future emails, please click the=A0UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an = email to info@fathersonline=2Eorg (mailto:info@fathersonline=2Eorg) with the= word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading=2E To unsubscribe from this newsletter, please visit this address: http://www=2E= bosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/html/unsubscribe=2Easp=3Fclient=3Dfathers&ci= d=3D532 ----NEXT_BM_610ED1B679144BC6ABEDC93641DE968A Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable